Neville's gerbils
by Queen of Spades9
Summary: Neville receives a cage of demented gerbils. Read about these four innocent (cough cough) rodents as they plot against the humans. CHAPTER 6 UP! Review, sil vous plait, and I promise I will R&R one of yours! READ READ READ!
1. Aww! Cute widdil gerbies!

Disclaimer: The character Neville Longbottom was not made up by me. He belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything else is mine.  
  
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For Neville Longbottom's 15th birthday, he recieved a cage of gerbils. Little did he know that they were plotting against him all the while.....  
  
Gerbil 1: Okay, gerbils. They're asleep. It is time to plot our revenge!  
  
Gerbil 2: No way! I LOVE the humans! They feed me, and cuddle me, and-  
  
Gerbil 3: Exactly. They always take care of you. We need revenge on account of their unjust favoratism.  
  
Gerbil 4: I thought that we were attacking for freedom and liberty!   
  
Gerbil 3: Stop acting so patriotic.  
  
Gerbil 4: Oh come on, this is a really small cage. Especially for four hamsters.  
  
Unknown gerbil: Five, actually.  
  
Gerbil 2: AAAAAAAAAH! Rabid gerbil!  
  
Gerbil 1: Gerbil number 5? I thought you were dead!  
  
Gerbil 5: Oh, ya. Excuse me.  
  
Gerbil 5 moans and collapses in the sawdust.  
  
Gerbil 1: Okay. That's better. Now, for the attack. I will be captain-  
  
Gerbil 4: Oh, no you don't. We're not going to be like those corny monologues that put the first character in charge just because they're number one. And besides, guys, we do have names.  
  
Gerbil 3: No, we don't.  
  
Gerbil 2: Ooh! Gerbil 4, what is your name?  
  
Gerbil 4 (blushing): It's......Hershell.  
  
Gerbil 1: What a retarded name.  
  
Gerbil 4: Ya, it is kinda intense. But anyway, as I was saying, we must be original. I think that we should put the highest number in charge. Technichally, thats number 5. But he's dead, so-  
  
Gerbil 5: I'm not dead!  
  
Gerbil 4: Assuming he's dead, the highest number is number 4. And *gasp* that's me! ME! GWAHAHA!  
  
Gerbil 1: Not so fast, Hershell.  
  
Gerbil 4: Whaa...??  
  
Gerbil 1: You have a name. You are no longer part of the Numbered Gerbils.   
  
Gerbil 4: But you can't...  
  
Gerbil 1: Can and will. Oh, Narrator! Can we get a title switching in order?  
  
Narrator: No problem, number 1.  
  
Gerbil 1: Ha.  
  
Hershell: NO!  
  
Gerbil 3: Due to your own rule set earlier, I am the highest number remaining and therefore I am in charge. Me!  
  
Hershell: I don't think so, WEBSTER!  
  
Gerbil 3: GASP! How do you know my name!?!  
  
Hershell: I just do. Oh, Narrator!  
  
Narrator: Anytime, Hershell. *Snickers*  
  
Hershell: Oh, just do the name switch.  
  
Narrator: Sure thing, HERSHELL! *Mad gasps of laughter*  
  
Hershell: Shut up!  
  
Narrator: Okay.  
  
Webster: WAHH!  
  
Gerbil 1: Well, I guess this puts number 2 in charge.  
  
Gerbil 2: NEVER! I won't run an attack against my beloved masters!  
  
Gerbil 1: Due to number 2's refusal to take command, I am once again put in charge.  
  
Hershell: That means that this whole dialogue was pointless?  
  
Webster: Guess so.  
  
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More to come! Read, read, read! Review, review, review!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 


	2. Singing Gerbils

Disclaimer: Anything you may recognize from the Harry Potter books belongs to J.K. Rowling. Anything else is my own.  
  
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Neville Longbottom attended Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and wizardry. When he decided to bring his pet gerbils to school in the fall, he doesn't realize he's making a big mistake....  
  
Gerbil 1: Okay, gang. Last chapter was an annoying waste of mindless dialogue, so we have to stick to the point this time.   
  
Webster: Speaking of speaking to things, I have something really, really disgusting stuck to my foot.  
  
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!  
  
Gerbil 2: Speaking of eating, I'm hungry...If I eat one more of these flavourless pellets I'll hurl.  
  
Hershell: Ugh! I just ate!  
  
Gerbil 1: So much for sticking to the point.  
  
Webster: Could you stop mentioning that?  
  
Gerbil 1: (Clears throat) We need to come up with a battle plan for revenge on the humans.  
  
Gerbil 2: But surely they deserve another chance!  
  
Gerbil 1: Don't call me Shirley.  
  
Webster: I can't believe he just said that.  
  
Hershell: Narrator, you know what to do.  
  
Narrator: Hyuk, hyuk! Shirley! You'll never live this down!  
  
Shirley: I feel so humiliated.  
  
Gerbil 2: Blah, blah, blah. *Yawn* This cage is soooo boring. I know! We can all sing! (Breaks into song) Heyyy Yaaa......Heyyyy Yaaaaaaaaaaa..........  
  
Hershell: What is that mess?  
  
Webster: Ya, no offense, dude, but you can't sing.  
  
Gerbil 2: Hmph. That was Outkast, they have the number one song on the charts.  
  
Shirley: How on earth would you know that?  
  
Gerbil 2: Everyone knows that. Get with it, Shirley! Live in the now! HEYYYY YAAAA......  
  
Unidentifiable Guinea Pig: Woah, little gerbily-thing. Don't blow a fuse.  
  
Webster: Gah! A GUINEA PIG!?! How the blazes did you get here?  
  
Guinea Pig: No clue.  
  
Shirley: Well, you can't stay here! Out! Out! Out!  
  
Guinea Pig: Now, now, my good fellow. I only just arrived. Now that I'm here I might as well stay a while.  
  
Shirley: ARGGG!!!  
  
Webster: Calm down, Shirley.  
  
Hershell: Ya, old timer. Chill. Don't blow a fuse.  
  
Guinea Pig: You stole my line!  
  
Shirley: I am NOT an old timer!  
  
Gerbil 2: Heyyyyyyy yaaaaa.......  
  
Guinea Pig: Pee-yew! Do gerbils ever brush their teeth?  
  
Hershell (in shock): Teeth?!? WHERE?!?!  
  
Webster: Aw, now look what you did! He's having a piesmere again!  
  
Hershell: (breaks into off-key singing) I believe I can fly...  
  
Guinea Pig: EW! I just stepped on a furry lump covered in woodchips!  
  
Shirley: Oh, that's gerbil number 5. He's dead.  
  
Gerbil 5: I am not dead!  
  
Shirley: Ignore him. He only thinks he's not dead.  
  
Gerbil 5: No, really, I'm not dead!  
  
Shirley: Shut up!  
  
Gerbil 2: Ooh, I love this song! Shut up, just shut up shut up.....  
  
Guinea Pig: Could we all quiet down? I'm gonna go for a snooze.  
  
Hershell: Sounds good to me.  
  
Shirley: But..but what about the battle plans?  
  
Webster: It can wait, gramps.   
  
Shirley: Sheesh. Hamsters.  
  
Guinea Pig: I'm not a hamster! I'm a guinea pig!  
  
Gerbil 2: I'm not a hamster! I'm a gerbil!  
  
Webster: Gee, I'm not sure what I am...  
  
Shirley: Oh, forget it.  
  
Gerbil 2: (softly) Shut up, just shut up..  
  
Guinea Pig: Shut up!  
  
Gerbil 2: You like that song too?  
  
Shirly: *sigh* 


	3. Poor mister Rubber Ducky

Stupid, stupid notepad. I can't add italics so please don't mind the lack of expression. It's not my fault I swear!!  
  
Anywayz, this is my third chapter I really hope you like it. By the way, Hershell might start biting if nobody reviews soon! Cmon people! I want a full inbox by tomorrow!  
  
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Disclaimer: See chap. numero uno! (I'm not violating any rules am I? Do we have to put it on EVERY SINGLE CHAPTER?!?!)  
  
On with the story!  
  
Narrator: It was a dark and stormy night. A dark, stormy night.......  
  
Hershell: Aw shut up already!  
  
Gerbil 2: EGADS! PROFANITY!! (Mumbles) Hear no evil, see no evil...  
  
Webster: Where did the monkeys come from?  
  
Shirley: Holey canolie! Monkeys!  
  
GUinea Pig: Ya know, I've been thinking, I want a name.  
  
Gerbil 2: NOO! Don't leave me! DON'T LEAVE ME! I'm the only one without a name! YOU CAN'T ABANDON ME!  
  
Gerbil 5: Don't worry, I don't have a name either.  
  
Gerbil 2: Ya, but you're dead. You don't count.  
  
Webster: I know! Let's name you Pistachio!  
  
Guinea Pig: NO WAY! I'm allergic to pistachios!  
  
Webster: For God's sakes, Pistachio, I was talking to Gerbil Five.  
  
Pistachio: No! Not the pistachios!  
  
Hershell: It's alright, little fella, I'm allergic to pistachos too.  
  
Pistachio: Really?  
  
Hershell: You're not supposed to say that! NARRATOR! YOU'RE INTERFERING WITH THE STORY!  
  
Pistachio: How come I have a stupid name and you guys don't?  
  
Shirley: Excuse me?  
  
Webster: I want a pet koala.  
  
Shirley: I don't even know what a pistachio is.  
  
Gerbil 2: SHH! You're giving our readers (assuming there are any) the impression that all gerbils are stupid!  
  
Shirley: Don't be absured. Just because I don't know what a pistachio is doesn't make me stupid.  
  
Gerbil 2: Well, that's not all of it...  
  
Webster: I would name my pet koala Hingy-Pingy.  
  
Pistachio: THAT'S IT! HINGY-PINGY!  
  
Hershell: What about it?  
  
Pistachio: THAT'S MY NAME!  
  
Hershell: No, it's not. It's Pistachio.  
  
Webster: I see what you're doing. You're trying to steal my koala's name!   
  
Gerbil 2: Koala? WHERE?!  
  
Hershell: WILSONNNNNNN!  
  
Shirley: Koala's eat gerbils, you know.  
  
Webster: Don't be absured. Of course they don't.  
  
Shirley: Ya, I know.  
  
Pistacho: You confuse me.  
  
Gerbil 2: I just thought of something!  
  
Shirley: *Gasp* You can ThInK?!  
  
Hershell: Stop, drop and roll cuz you've just been BURNED!  
  
Gerbil 2: PUH-LEEZ! You guys are a bunch of two-year-olds.  
  
Hershell: Actually, I don't know how old I am.  
  
Gerbil 2: So as I was saying, I just thought of something.  
  
Shirley: *Gasp* You can ThInK?!  
  
Hershell: Stop, drop and roll cuz you've just been BURNED!  
  
Gerbil 2: For goodness sake just listen! I have realized something. We are extremely deprived.  
  
Webster: And why is that?  
  
Gerbil 2: WE CAN'T HAVE BATHS!  
  
Pistachio: EW! WE SMELL LIKE $#!^  
  
Gerbil 2: Thats not the point! No bath means NO RUBBER DUCKY!  
  
Hershell: No rubber ducky?!? HOW WILL WE LIVE? WILLLLLSOOOOOOOOOOONNNNNNN!  
  
Shirley: Hmm, I'm going to start randomly cheering. HUZZAH! HUZZAH!  
  
Pistachio: That's it, little mans. You guys are CRA-ZZY!   
  
Webster: Little MEN. You mean little MEN.  
  
Shirley: We're not men anyway.  
  
Hershell: Oh ya, that's right. You're female.  
  
Shirley: NO! I'm a gerbil!  
  
Hershell: You go on thinking that..  
  
Shirley: you are too!  
  
Gerbil 2: Narrator, do us all a favor and end the chapter NOW!  
  
Narrator: Rightio!  
  
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So that's it folks! I know I know, I'm slipping! I need suggestions! PLEASE! REVIEW! 


	4. AHH! HUNGER!

Okay luvly readers! I'm gonna write this chappy remembering all the advice I was given by my darling reviewers (thank you so much!). Don't worry if I didn't add your idea into this one, it'll appear in the next one! Looks like Hershell doesn't have to do any biting....this time...  
  
Turtlerabbit: Thank you for your loyalty! There's more comin so stay tuned!  
  
Summer Princess: Supercool idea! I'll add it in next chapteR i PROMISE!  
  
Chaotic Demon: Ha-ha-ha. Glad I amused you. Thanks!  
  
squirrel-bladder4: What, you have a problem with my topic? Haha just kidding. Thanks for your time! You would like my other stories too! Have you read them?  
  
byttmeo7: Thanks for your idea! THANK YOU ALL FOR YOUR IDEAS! COOKIES ALL AROUND!  
  
  
  
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Disclaimer: Yadda, yadda, yadda. I don't own the HP characters.   
  
A/N: If you want me to discontinue, say the word! I'm probably too stupid to tell if my story is trash or not! PLEASE! REVIEW! *Puppy eyes* you wouldn't want to make Hershell mad, would you?   
  
Ok, here goes!  
  
*guest-starring Neville*  
  
Chap. 4: STARVING! TO DEATH!   
  
Gerbil 2: *gasp* to death?! Isn't that a bit harsh?  
  
Shirley: To tell you the truth, I'm feeling a bit hungry. I think I'll go to the food dish...EMPTY?!?!?!  
  
Hershell: *sigh* The moron forgot to feed us!  
  
Webster: Why me?  
  
Pistachio: Why ME?!? I wasn't even supposed to be here anyway!  
  
Shirley: Ya, well, you're stuck here now.  
  
Narrator: The door of the commonroom opens and !Neville! walks in.  
  
Neville: Somehow I think I'm forgetting something....  
  
Shirley: Ah, here's the little idiot now. HEY, LITTLE IDIOT! OVER HERE! FORGETTING SOMETHING, ARE WE?!?!  
  
Neville: AHH! There's a guinea pig in the gerbil cage! How did you get there?!  
  
Pistachio: Call me crazy, but I don't know. But I do know one song by Michael Jackson. BILLY JEAN IS...NOT MY LOVER....  
  
Neville: AHH! He's squeaking at me! What do I do?  
  
Pistachio: That's right, laugh it up. How would you like it to be stuck with raving lunatics, eh, Nevilly-boy?! Squeak, squeak, squeak...  
  
Webster: How did you know his name was Neville?  
  
Hershell: AHH! Psychic!  
  
Webster: More like psycho, but same deal..  
  
Neville: They're all going into hysterics! I better do something...  
  
Shirley: FEED ME!  
  
Gerbil 2: Feed me, Seymore, I'm starving!  
  
Hershell: AHHH! EVIL DENTIST!  
  
Webster: Stop, stop! You're giving me nightmares! *raving* laughing gas....man who likes pain....crazy lady...  
  
Pistachio: Hey! He's not feeding us! Must-get-food...  
  
Neville: The gerbils are scaring me! I'm getting out of here!  
  
Pistachio: It's GUINEA PIG, wiseguy! COME BACK HERE! Heh heh, there he goes, running away like a little pathetic cereal box! *Whats a cereal box?* Ah, well. NOT SO TOUGH, ARE YOU? Heh heh heh, scared stiff of me, that's what he is.  
  
Shirley: Good going, twinkletoes. You scared away our food providor. Now we'll all end up dead, like number five here.  
  
Gerbil 5: I've had enough of your "jokes." From now on, I want a little respect. (Cue disco lights) R-E-S-P-E-C-T...  
  
Shirley *kicks Gerbil 5, who wheezes and falls slowly to the ground with a big thud, sawdust flies everywhere*: I do wish that (cough) gerbil would stop interfering with our dialect.  
  
Pistachio: It's dialogue.  
  
Hershell: Woah. Psychic and smart.  
  
Webster: That's, like, supernatural.  
  
Hershell: Totally.  
  
Gerbil 2: HELP! THE AUTHOR'S IGNORING ME!  
  
Author: There, there, I'm not ignoring you, little fella.  
  
Gerbil 2: Well then how come I'm not saying anything in this chapter?  
  
Author: Because I'm saving your voice for next chapter.   
  
Gerbil 2: Next chapter?!  
  
Author: That's right! You're gonna be a star!  
  
Shirley: Dying..of...hungration...  
  
Pistachio: Its-  
  
Shirley: DON'T CORRECT ME!  
  
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Ya, I know, it was short and stupid, but I'm running out of ideas! Help me out here, peeps!  
  
Review! Review! Review! 


	5. THE GRAND ESCAPADE!

THE GRAND ESCAPADE!!!!! This is the chapter you've all been waiting for.....just admit it you've been waiting for it.....anywayz, THE GRAND ESCAPADE!!!!! Ok sorry I'll stop saying that now. (looks around discreetly) THE GRAND ESCAPADE!!!!!! Yee-hee this is sooo exciting!!! *clears throat* Right. Sorry.  
  
TO my dear reviewers:  
  
byttmeo7: YAY!!! They're gonna escape this time!!! YAY!!! YAY!!! Thank you for the idea!! :) YOU ROCK!!  
  
Teenage Drama Queen: About the Pistachio slash Shirley thing...it's do-able (you do know that they're both guys right?? I have nuthing against this but still...GERBILS?!?!) YOU ROCK!! GO YOU!! I'm glad to hear my work is appreciated! And yes, I am going to use your idea for the *wink *wink Number 5/Koala *wink *wink NOBODY PAY ATTENTION!! YOU'LL SEE SOON ENOUGH!! Oh ya and by the way..FOUR REVIEWS!!! YOU ARE SOO AWESOME! Everybody be like this girl and review! review! review!  
  
Disclaimer: YEE-HAW! Me no no own Harry Potter!!  
  
  
  
****CHAPTER 5**** ~Guest-starring Malfoy~  
  
THE GRAND ESCAPADE!! (I swear it thats the last time.)  
  
Shirley: *Awkward silence* Why do I always have to start the chapters? This is sooo unfair.  
  
Gerbil 2: As you all know, this is a very special chapter for me. I am *sobs dramatically* the star of the show.  
  
Webster: This aint no show, cow boy!  
  
Gerbil 2: Then what is it, hick?  
  
Pistachio: You know what I could really go for right now? ICE CREAM!  
  
Hershell: Well how's that that -boy- keeps on forgetting to feed us!  
  
Pistachio: I CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE! ARRRRGGG!!!  
  
Narrator: Pistachio charges at the wall of the cage with all his might. Cage starts to shake violently.  
  
Shirley: Pistachio, cut it out!  
  
Hershell: Ya! You'll like hurt yourself!  
  
Shirley: No, I meant quit talking about ice cream! *Drools* Mmm. Ice cream.  
  
Gerbil 2: As the star of this 'chapter', I have just had an ingenious idea.  
  
Webster: I know! Is it that if we all keep ramming our heads against the cage we'll rock it off this chair and we'll finally be free?  
  
Gerbil 2: No, silly. We'll hire a gang of teddy bears to come and be our friends! Then we'll get them to lift the lid off this cage and place it on the floor. Once their hands are free, they can carry us to safety and we can all go and live in the mountains of Peru together!  
  
Pistachio: WAHHH! I'm stuck in a cage full of moronic gerbils with NO- ICE- CREAM!!  
  
Narrator: Pistachio repeatedly whacks his head against the side of the cage. The cage begins to veer towards the left.  
  
Pistachio: *bangs head* *bangs head* *bangs head*   
  
Narrator: Gerbils slide slowly. Tipping increases, and finally-  
  
BOOM!  
  
Gerbil 2: Ah, Pistachio! Look what you've done! It'll take me weeks to unwedge all these woodchips from my eyes!  
  
Shirley: LOOK! The cage! It's open! WE'RE FREE!  
  
Narrator: Squeals of joy from cage-members. The cage is lying on its side on the floor of the gryffindor commonroom. Luckily, no one is around.  
  
Hershell: We're free! FREE! I feel like a bird. Or a watermelon. Maybe even a kumquat. Gee, I even feel like a snowmobile!  
  
Webster: That's a first.  
  
Hershell: I'll say.  
  
Pistachio: Okay, folks! There's gotta be some ice cream around here somewhere! Split up!  
  
Shirley: Wait! Don't you see? This is a perfect way to start a war against the humans! Stay here and let's make a battle plan!  
  
Gerbil 2: Hold it, hold it! I'm the star here remember? I call the shots! I say we explore. Maybe we'll come across some teddy bears we can befriend.  
  
Narrator: The door creaks open and in step Malfoy and his buffoon friends.  
  
Malfoy: I'm telling you, we'll just take a few of their posessions and then sneak out again. They're not expecting something like this and we'll never get cau-AAAGGHH! GERBILS!!!  
  
Crabbe: Ya, I heard that Neville kid got a cage of gerbils. They say it was a reward for not forgetting something for a whole week.  
  
Malfoy: *sarcasm* Gosh! A whole week!  
  
Narrator: Snortish chuckles from all three.  
  
Goyle: Why they're on the floor is beyond me.  
  
Malfoy: Aww, looky. He's kinda cute!  
  
Narrator: Malfoy picks up Hershell.  
  
Hershell: Hey! Put me down! Aaa..discovering fear of heights..  
  
Malfoy: Why, hello gerbil-*gasp* Hershell?!?  
  
Hershell: *Gasp* Fuzzy-wuzzy?!? My previous owner?!  
  
Malfoy & Hershell: *sigh* I can't believe it's you!  
  
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GWAHAHAHAHHAHAH!!!  
  
Okay guys i know it was short... but I haven't updated in a long time and i have to look over my reviews to see what to add....and you must forgive me if I didn't forfill your requests this time. It'll come soon I swear!So I'll try to finish the next chappie for next weekend! I know I'm slow...my brain tends to stop functioning...ya thats happening more and more often lately..hope ya enjoyed! 


	6. Complications

Okay! It's me again, with a fresh new chappie to try to make it up to you my poor readers...I know the last chapter wasn't so good.....  
  
Teenage Drama Queen/Raine an Frodo: Why change the name? Anyway, more people should be like you and review for each (of my) chapters. HAHAH! U ROCK!!!  
  
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Chapter 6...Gerbil 2's still king supreme  
  
Disclaimer: Meh.  
  
Shirley: Whaaa?!?! You two KNOW EACH OTHER???  
  
Hershell: We sure do!   
  
Malfoy *suddenly able to understand gerbilish*: Yep, I am Hershey-wershey's previous devoted owner.  
  
Webster: If you're so devoted, how come you gave him up?  
  
Malfoy: It's a long, tragic story.  
  
Hershell: He's allergic.  
  
Malfoy: AAAAAAAAAH CHOOOOOOO!  
  
Narrator: *loud fits of choking, hacking and sneezing erupt from Malfoy's corner of the room.*   
  
Webster: WARNING!RANDOM ALERT!  
  
Pistachio: Bananas, bananas, we eat bananas...nooooo appleess allowedddddddddddddddd........  
  
Malfoy: Hey, I'm not a super genious here! I still can't understand guinea piggish!  
  
Crabbe: SOB! I CAN! I used to have a guinea pig named potato...and we sang the banana song together.....  
  
Pistachio: Bananas, bananas, we eat bananas........noooooo appleeees allowedddd...  
  
Crabbe: GASP! POTATO?!?!?   
  
Pistachio: GASP! Mr. Prickely???!?!  
  
Malfoy: Mr Prickely?!?  
  
Crabbe: I used to have a "prickely" mohawk.  
  
Malfoy: Holey canoley! Hershell called me fuzzy-wuzzy because of my buzz cut!  
  
Webster: Dude, that's way deep.  
  
potato: Ya, it is kinda weird how all rodents name their masters after their hair styles. I knew this guy who had a mullet...  
  
Gerbil 2: Ahem! Pesky humans, be on your way! You are interfering with the escapade!  
  
Malfoy: Um, who ya callin pesky?? Tsk tsk, little man.  
  
Gerbil 5: I feel strangely left out.  
  
Goyle: EGADS! I THOUGHT YOU WERE DEAD!  
  
Potato: He is, apparently.  
  
Goyle: That's insane! You're all insane! How can he be dead if-  
  
Crabbe: Hey, knock it off! You're supposed to be the dumb one!  
  
Goyle: Oh. Sorry.  
  
Gerbil 5: I'm tired of being the forgotten, dead rodent in the corner! I want an important role in this story!  
  
Webster: You could be my pet koala.  
  
Gerbil 5: But- im a gerbil..  
  
Webster: Gerbil, koala, same deal. I WANT A KOALA! BE MY KOALA!  
  
Shirley: Be my........frankenstein....*koff koff* Sorry.  
  
Gerbil 5: What's in it for me?  
  
Webster: Um, HeLlO? Have you been listening to any of our conversation? YOU GET TO BE MY KOALA!!!  
  
Gerbil 5: Besides that.  
  
Webster: Not much. OH! I know! You can be my TALKING koala!  
  
Gerbil 5: Talking koala?  
  
Webster: Ya! You can still be my pet koala, but you also get to talk!  
  
Gerbil 5: Which means...more lines!  
  
Webster: Which means...a bigger part!  
  
Webster/ Gerbil 5: YES!  
  
Gerbil 5: I'll take it!  
  
Narrator: Al righty then.   
  
Koala: YAY!  
  
Malfoy: Hmm. That's strange. Seeing as Gerbil 5 didn't actually turn into a koala, I should still be able to understand him. But all I hear is squeak, squeak, squeak.  
  
Goyle: Quit talking to yourself, man. It's freaking me out.  
  
Webster: Hold up. It's my koala which means I get to name it.  
  
Koala: But, I like the name koala! Especially since I am completely oblivious to the actual meaning of the word!  
  
Webster: Nah, I think I'll name you...Ping-Pang.  
  
Narrator: ***THE RANDOM ALERT'S GOING OFF THE SCALES!!!*** But, your wish is my command...  
  
Hershell: HAHA! I think I saw that in a movie once!   
  
Narrator: I'm allowed to borrow catch phrases from movies, aren't I?  
  
Hershell: Dunno...ah, you got me thinking too hard again, narry! Remember last time that happened?   
  
Narrator: *Shudders* How could I forget?  
  
Hershell: Ah, there you go with the catch-phrase-stealing again! You better watch out, buddy, that mouth could get you sued!  
  
Narrator: B-but everyone says that!  
  
Hershell: Grrr...  
  
Narrator: Alright, alright, no more catch-phrase-stealing!  
  
Hershell: Uh, Narrator? That catch-phrase-stealing thing is mine, you're stealing my catch-phrase.  
  
Narrator: Do you want me to change your name to Tinkerbell? Huh?  
  
Hershell: *Cowers* N-no, almighty one!  
  
Narrator: And don't you forget it!  
  
*Silence*  
  
Crabbe: Come on, Goyle, Malfoy. Let's go...these guys got me real confused!  
  
Goyle: Hey, I'm the dumb one, remember?  
  
Crabbe: Oh, right. Sorry. Let's go.  
  
Malfoy: Not so fast. We could use these little guys...in the... GIRLS DORMITORY!!!!!!!!!!!  
  
Narrator: DUN DUN DUN DUN!!!  
  
*~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ *~*~ Until next chappie, amigos! 


End file.
